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This page was last updated on 08/02/07.

August 31, 2002:  Today is a happy day off work for the FOLA festival. FOLA (Foreign Language) is the one chance a year (formerly twice a year, but more on that in a bit) for the students here at Daewon to break out and have a little fun and maybe explore their creativity.  The students spend all their free time and some class time (when nice or lazy teachers allow), as well as most of the summer break, preparing for this event. 

The administration acts like the festival is a big favor to the students, it is really sick.  Above all else, FOLA is a marketing tool. They use it to secure donations, recruit students, and keep the Gaewon name in the mind.  Everything the students do is used to promote the school itself.  No surprise really since the whole school is about self promotion. (they post a list of how many students get accepted to various schools but never a list of how many go or how many fail)

The first day of the festival, the 30th, was the day for performances, contests, and exhibits.  Somehow in a school where art is relegated to one class every couple of weeks many students were able to create some spiffy drawings and paintings.  There was a bit of sculpture and some other creations as well. The few school bands get a chance to play and compete in a Battle of the Bands setting too.  Luckily I slept through all that as some of the teachers were forced to get up and sing karaoke style...ugh.

The big day is the festival itself. It is held at Jamsil sports complex in a decent gym...think 6A State basketball champion year after year type of seating...well 5A in the early 80's maybe. The day started with lots of "sports" competitions for the students.  We (me and Sam) got there a bit late as usual and missed much of the sporting stuff thankfully.  We were there for the races which were kind of fun. Nothing like watching kids run full speed in sock feet and wiping out in the corners!   What we didn't expect was the drafting into the teacher races. 

The teacher races were broken up into a few different categories, no clue what they were but they divvied up most of us.  Sam and I ended up in a group of about 20 teachers that had to race 20 others.  I think it was English, French, and Chinese versus German, Korean, Spanish or some random mess like that. Somehow Sam ends up next to last and I end up as the anchor.  Now remember that I don't like to run. My ass a week before was exploding like an AC-130. And of course I wasn't dressed to run a race.

Well the race was on no matter what I thought about it. Each runner had to make a lap around the floor relay style.  Our team was doing really well, and by the time it neared Sam's turn we had a nice half lap lead.  But the long-haired hippie freak was not about to let us down!  He decided to go barefoot as his sandals were not race worthy (hell, they weren't walk worthy either, not to mention rank).  Well you'd think that a dude with legs that long could at least move somewhat quickly, he describes himself as a gazelle after all.

Sadly, Sam moves with the speed and grace of a drunken retarded gazelle. My joy of anchoring a race with a huge lead slips to trepidation at the prospect of having to really run against a dude that looks really fast and in shape. near the final turn, the little midget of a Korean running against Sam passes him and puts on a good 25 feet lead before passing the baton.  Sam eventually reaches me as my opponent rounds the first turn. 

Now if there is anything I hate more than running with an explosive ass and bad shoes, it is losing.  I bust out the long stride hammy killer and do may damnedest to catch the freak of nature ahead of me. By the third turn I'm on him and am going inside to pass when he OhNo's me!  He totally threw an elbow while saying something in Korean (I'm sure it wasn't nice).  It put me off stride which is a bad thing in a turn and I lose a few steps on him. Out of the final turn I'm passing him on the outside and he blocks me out and hits me yet again.  I know I can kill him on the straight and we have half the floor to go...so I thought.  The Koreans holding the tape have moved and are moving towards us to shorten the gap!  Cheating bastards.  I'm still right with him at he hits the tape...of course he doesn't even say good race or anything. I'm left there looking like a whiner for being upset that he gave me the OhNo action...funny how there was no outrage when it was in their favor. ;p

After the race we cop a squat in the stands to watch the festivities. There are demonstrations from each of the language groups at school (German happy dance, French Can Can, Chinese dance, Spanish Flaminco) and various martial arts and some pop dance groups.  It was ok I guess.  The 3rd year kids teach and guide the 2nd year kids and the first years learn or fill in gaps.  So basically it is the same year after year...welcome to Korea.

Daven shows up way late and catches the free oh-so-not tasty lunch. But that's where the fun begins.  A new teacher for the girl's school shows up as well.  Chris.  Chris was supposedly a linebacker or DE at Kansas or Kansas State until a knee injury ended his career. He's big enough that it's possible, but I never could find any stats to back it up so we all wondered. But on with the story.  His grandfather, Herman, came over with him as well, since he hadn't been here since the war. Herman's a supplement user and proselytizer extraordinaire.  I must admit, he's in amazing shape for being a Korean War vet, but sometimes...just sometimes...when you talk about something too much you start too seem a bit obsessed (brainwashed?). Overall though, I think by the end of the night, we'd all decided Herman was way cool and we wanted him to stay more than Chris. 

A huge reason for that feeling was how this guy, who'd been in country less than 48 hours, acted and treated those around him.  He got really drunk, which is fine, it is Korea after all. But in the process he was going table to table hitting on every girl in the place...and it didn't matter if they tried to make him go away, if they had boyfriends, or anything else. It was embarrassing.  The coup de gras, was when he started asking to see Fish naked.  Daven was less than pleased and swore him off  permanently then and there.  Eventually we made it home and the rainy FOLA day was done.

Pictures?  nah, put most of in the text.  Click them for bigger versions.

Up next: September 2002

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